Day 19 of WLC

Opted for an early night sleep rather than tidying anything, but otherwise my day was good. I’m getting a little bored of my lunch so I think I’m gonna try something different next week (yup, I’m one of those boring ppl who has the same thing every day lol) any easy, compliant, make-ahead suggestions?

Wow I’m almost at the halfway point!! I can’t believe I’ve made it this far without giving up. One of my biggest goals in doing this challenge was to see if I could stick it out and so far I’d say I’m doing pretty well.

Yesterday was a hard day smoking-wise but I managed to get thru the whole day with only 4 cigarettes!!

I spent a lot of time thinking about Mike yesterday. Work was pretty slow for the first 2/3 of the day so I had lots of time to let my thoughts run away on me. Fortunately, towards the end of the day I got started on a new project, in a software I’ve been dying to switch over too, which was a welcome change, especially in that moment.

It’s not like I’m thinking about new things when it comes to him or anything, it’s just the same torturous and unproductive thoughts we all go through during a breakup. “Was there something I could’ve done to change things… I’ll never find someone who makes me as happy… I should’ve [insert ridiculous expectation here]… he’s probably not even thinking about me… I bet he’s with someone new already…” and on and on ALLLLLLL day. It’s so unhealthy lol and getting kind of boring, to be honest with you.

Smoking weed helps, but it’s not like I can (or want to) go thru my whole life stoned to get away from those thoughts. So instead, I’ve started meditative breathing, going on walks for lunch, and redirecting my thoughts. These do help, but I think with our breakup this fresh, the best thing I can do for myself is let myself experience these feelings and move thru the waves naturally, and being as genial on myself as I can be.

Another thing that doesn’t necessarily help with the downs, but I definitely think is a healthy practice during any down-time, is positive self-talk. So when I’m feeling more up, I tell myself how things really are, basically I let my head do the talking instead of my heart, and I let it talk lots and loud!

“… you tried your hardest, loved as honestly and openly as you could, and gave it every opportunity to succeed that you have in you… there are millions of other guys out there, and since your awesome (and always have found another, usually better, guy) you will met someone new when the time is right… you did the best with the information you were given at the time… he’s most likely feeling just as tortured as you are, and it’s very unlikely he’s with someone new already because a) he’s busy AF (part of why we broke up) and b) not on the prowl… you chose to end this relationship for your own reasons, which were all valid, not overly critical, realistic, and honest… you will get thru this, and keep moving forward…”

I really try to cancel out everything my heart says and then some. I read somewhere that it takes 2 positive thoughts for every 1 negative one to stay positive so I try to, at the very least, out-balance the negative thoughts.

Funny, as I was writing that our song came on my shuffle. It has so much less of an effect on me when my rethought a are coming from my head because I’m in a realistic space rather than a reminiscent space…

Anyways, that’s it for now. Time for work!

Day 7 of WLC

Got almost everything checked off today! That wellness challenge is still giving me an issue (and thanks Natalie for keeping me accountable on that one) but tomorrow starts a new one so maybe I’ll have a bit more success with that.

Quitting smoking a going really well too. At this rate it’s not even going to take me all 6 wks so I might amend that goal to make it a little more of a challenge.

Day 6 of WLC

Today went all right all things considered. The water part of the challenge was really hard today. I felt bloated and full all afternoon but hopefully I’ll get more used to that as the week keeps going and my body adjusts. I also haven’t had much success with taking an hour without any devices. I managed to turn off my phone (well I put it on DND) but my books are all on my devices, and with all the things going on last night I really needed a major distraction. I’m going to keep trying tho.
I did really well with my personal smoking challenge, and even managed to smoke less than I had allowed myself, which I’m really proud of. I think by the end of these 6 wks I can fully quit if I stick to this.

Day 18 of WLC

A note about my reflections: I always do my score the morning after the day I’m scoring so all of my reflections posts are written about the previous day. I know other people like to score at the end of the day, or score the next day but write from the previous days perspective, but this is how I’ve been doing mine.

Also, today I’m going to begin “back-publishing” my reflections up til now so my intro post will no longer be the first post… that may change eventually tho too lol

Yesterday was a pretty good day, aside from feeling a little about some things going on in my personal life. But instead of bumming out I got out to the garage after Cam was in bed and did some work on the table I’m building so it’s all ready to be cut down and start sanding on Thursday 👍

I missed my stretches yesterday but otherwise I got all my points and smoked only 4 cigarettes, which I’m super proud of. At this rate I’ll be fully quit before the end of the challenge!!

Wow I forgot I even had this…

I stumbled across this  old blog that I started but never wrote in this morning, which is perfect timing because I’ve been considering starting to write about the journey I’ve been on over the past few weeks, and through the coming months. Isn’t it funny how the universe has a way of giving you exactly what you need when you need it.

I wanted somewhere to write about the Whole Life Challenge (I’ll explain what the WLC challenge is and why I’m doing it in the next post) I’ve been doing, quitting smoking, breaking-up with the guy I thought would be the last bf, the projects I’m working on in the garage, and how its all been coming together to make me feel so good about life! I know that sounds like a bit of a mash-up of topics, but my goal is simply to track my change from miserable and depressed to this new happier Jen I feel myself becoming, rather than having a well organized blog that is topic-specific… or maybe it is, with the topic being ME! LoL

Either way, I’m committing to sharing my “Reflection Posts” from the WLC everyday, a more in-depth “how its going” post each day, and at least once a week some content that I’ve found helpful and think would help someone else on this journey for at least the rest of the WLC challenge… lets see how this goes!

Day Four

Today was the first day of this challenge. I’m really optimistic about this and super glad Natalie introduce me to it. Even just having this goal made me feel better, gave me something to get excited about.
I got our lunches ready and got the kitchen all cleaned up this evening, and ate a healthy dinner that only lost me 1 point, and no wine… I think 4 points today for nutrition is great considering I didn’t prepare for this at all before today. Way to go… and good luck tomorrow!

This was my first actual full day of the Whole Life Challenge, since I signed up and committed to start midday yesterday.